How To (Safely) Slap Your Lover In The Face

How To Safely Slap Your Lover In The Face


Being slapped in the face is fairly high on the list for a lot of submissive types. It’s a powerful, emphatic gesture. It hurts. And it is a way of forcing obedience and underlining control that has real weight and feeling behind it.

It’s also potentially pretty dangerous. Hitting someone in the face – even with an open hand – is never going to be without risk. For this reason, many people are unwilling to do it, no matter how cathartic it may be.

The good news is this: there’s a relatively safe technique to slapping your partner in the face. Outlined below is the best way to enjoy doing so, while also minimising the chance that you’ll actually cause injury. Isn’t that just the best of both worlds?


Remove any rings or other jewellery from your hand. Make sure your nails are neat and blunt – if they are not you should be aware of the risk of scratching your partner’s face. Have your partner remove any earrings, as well as any piercings that might be caught by your hand. If your partner has an eyebrow piercing or ear piercings that cannot be removed, make sure that you are very aware of where exactly they are.

Your partner’s jaw should be closed, to minimise the possibility of dislocation from a misplaced slap. You can ask them to loosely clench their teeth, and press their lips together. It’s not a good idea to slap someone in the face while they are wearing a ball or ring gag – cloth gags are, however, usually fine.

Ensure that you know your partner’s medical history, including whether they have any dental work that might be easily damaged, as well as whether they’re prone to marking easily, or have a particularly fragile head (you’d be surprised). Also, of course, do try and get a read on whether they’ll actually enjoy being slapped before you just wind up and go for it.

A Few Guidelines

Hit your partner forehanded, not backhanded. The open side of your hand has way more padding than the back – which is mostly bone. You are aiming to hit your partner with that padding, and avoid any bone on bone contact.

Aim for the fleshy part of their cheek. Make contact below the cheekbone, above the jawline, and at least an inch of two short of the ear. Hit them with the pads of your fingers. Don’t hit them with the ridge of bone at the base of your fingers, or with the palm. Keep the hand flat but fairly loose.

To ensure that you hit your partner in the right place – and to prevent them flinching at the last moment – you may wish to hold their head in place. You can hold them by the hair, or loosely cup the opposite side of their face. Don’t hold them in place so rigidly that they cannot shift a little when they take the slap, but make sure that you are firm enough that they don’t flinch and cause you to miss.

The first time you hit your partner, you should do so very gently. You can then work up to hitting them harder, being mindful of their limits and the marks you may be making as you do so.


When you slap someone in the face, you are hitting one of the most sensitive and easily-damaged parts of the human body. A blow to the cheek can cause an almost-limitless amount of damage to the head and brain – including concussion or head injury. By following the guidelines above you can minimise the likelihood of causing this kind of damage – but you should be aware of what can happen, and what it looks like when it does.

One classic slap injury is the perforation of the eardrum. This happens when you hit the ear, forcing air into the ear canal. The sudden spike of pressure can damage the fragile eardrum and cause serious pain, as well as temporary or permanent hearing loss. Avoid hitting the ear, and consult a doctor if your partner experiences pain or a loss of hearing inside their ear after being hit there.

It is also possible to dislocate the jaw with a particularly hard slap. To avoid this, have your partner loosely clench their jaw, and remind them to keep their mouth shut. If it happens, go to the hospital. Although dislocated jaws sometimes pop back in of their own accord, it is unwise to try and slot it back into place yourself, as you risk trapping nerves or other internal structures.

You can chip teeth or damage fragile dental work. Again, ensure that your partner loosely clenches their teeth, and also make sure that you’re aware of any vulnerable teeth. If you chip a tooth, retain the chipped piece (if it is large, keep it submerged in milk to increase the possibility of reattachment) and see a dentist as soon as possible.

A very small amount of swelling, tingling, lingering pain or tightness in the skin is normal. If any of these things are anything other than mild, consult a medical professional. Although a slap is unlikely to cause a serious head injury, it is possible. Learn the symptoms of a severe head injury, and take action immediately if you notice any of them in your partner.

2 thoughts on “How To (Safely) Slap Your Lover In The Face

  1. I have had to encourage each and every one of my boyfriends to do this to me. And even when they did it was never hard enough. Just because I look petite and breakable DOESNT mean you have to treat me like I’m made of glass.

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