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A Simple Guide to Male Chastity

Male chastity is when you (or your lover) attach a device to your cock that prevents you from masturbating or having sex. In fact, most chastity devices stop you from even getting an erection.

Maybe that doesn’t sound like fun to you. What’s the point in not getting off? For some people, however, the idea is hot on a number of levels. Male chastity is actually a popular kink with a lot to recommend it.

Here’s an introduction to male chastity, and a guide to playing with chastity devices designed for male-bodied humans.

Contents


Why do people enjoy chastity?

Caveat: chastity requires consent

How to use a chastity device

Every different type of cock cage

Why do people enjoy chastity?


It’s giving up control

A BDSM Guide to Male Chastity - Sex tips and kinky relationship advice by Lascivity

By allowing a partner to lock your cock up in a tiny little cage, you’re handing them a huge amount of control over your life. They decide when you can experience sexual pleasure, when you can orgasm, and what form your sexual encounters will take.

If you’re into a dominant/submissive dynamic, all of that probably sounds pretty good to you. Chastity devices are a less common (but extreme and effective) way of exploring power play.

It’s humiliating

A BDSM Guide to Male Chastity - Sex tips and kinky relationship advice by Lascivity

Most chastity devices have a degree of awkwardness to them. They can be uncomfortable, difficult to use, and they make your junk look ridiculous. They also radically change your behaviour – when wearing one you may have to dress differently, walk differently, sit down to pee, and so on. These are all things which, if you’re into being humiliated, might tickle your boxes.

It focuses the mind

A BDSM Guide to Male Chastity - Sex tips and kinky relationship advice by Lascivity

Some chastity device users find that being locked away actually helps them to focus. In a mindful sense it allows them to get on top of masturbation and conquer their urges. And, within their relationship, it may help them to focus on the pleasure of their partner rather than their own sexual experience.

It’s hot

A BDSM Guide to Male Chastity - Sex tips and kinky relationship advice by Lascivity

The very act of wearing a chastity device brings attention to your dick… which you can’t stimulate because you’re wearing a chastity device. The effect of this simultaneous stimulation and denial can be extremely arousing in and of itself.

Better (but less frequent) orgasms

A BDSM Guide to Male Chastity - Sex tips and kinky relationship advice by Lascivity

For many men, a little self-denial can result in a dramatically more powerful orgasm. Imagine how good, for example, it would feel to finally be allowed to come after seven straight days of being denied any kind of stimulation. Chastity isn’t all about going without. Instead, it can actually be used to enhance sexual experience.


Like all BDSM activities, chastity is a game engaged in by consenting adults for their mutual sexual gratification. Chastity should never be used as a way of controlling the behaviour of a partner who isn’t expressly and enthusiastically interested in exploring it as a kink.

I make this point because, reading about chastity online, you’ll inevitably come across forum posts where people brag about locking up their cheating partner to stop them from being unfaithful, or forcing a chastity device on their partner to “help” them control their masturbatory urges.

Most of the time, these posts don’t include some vital information: they’re fictional. People enjoy writing out their fantasies on the internet. When it comes to chastity, it can be all too easy to confuse those fantasies with reality. Don’t. Chastity, like any kink, is not something that anyone should be coerced into trying.

How to use a chastity device


The design of cock cages varies enormously – the most common variants are listed below. Most, however, consist of the same basic components: a ring which goes around your cock and balls, a sheath which contains your cock shaft, and locking pins which secure the two together. Oh, and a lock of course.

Depending on the design of your cockc cage, some of these components might come as a single piece – locking pin and ring as one, for example. Indeed, the whole thing is a one-piece on some designs.

Getting the right fit

Just like with jeans or a pushbike, you’ll have a better time with something that fits you well. There are a few different metrics that matter when it comes to cock cages.

Ring size

Firstly, there’s the size of the ring. This should be neither too big (if it is, you’ll be able to slip your cock and balls free with ease), nor too small (if it is, you’ll be uncomfortable, and the ring might pinch).

The best cock cages come with a selection of rings, so you can try them on and find the one that fits you best.

Cheaper cages are one size only. Check the description for the diameter, then set a cheap adjustable cock ring (like this one from Blush Novelties) to the same diameter and experiment to see how practical a ring of that size will be for you.

Sheath/cage size

The length of the sheath is also a factor. Many cock cages will have a few different lengths to choose from. You should pick one which is as long or longer than your flaccid cock. Emphasis on flaccid. Make sure you’re not even semi-hard when you measure, otherwise you’ll end up with a cage that’s too big.

Measure the length of your cock with a tape measure. Place the end of the tape under your cock at the point where it meets your balls, then lay your member on the tape and read off your measurement from the tip.

If you want a more restrictive experience, you can go a little shorter than this measurement. If it’s your first cage, or you’re worried about discomfort, you can go a little longer.

Locking pins

The locking pins secure together the ring and the sheath. Here’s what they look like:

A Guide to Male Chastity - Advice on buying cock cages and using male chastity toys by Lascivity

The locking pins aren’t always separate from the other components. Quite often locking pins are built into the ring, and cannot be adjusted.

The best cock cages, though, have separate adjustable locking pins, and will come with a selection of spacers so that you can get just the right fit for you.

Prep before caging

Many men who enjoy chastity report that they prefer to give their pubic hair a trim before being locked in. Long pubes can get caught and tugged by the cage.

Conversely, shaved skin can be extra-sensitive, and may leave you with ingrown hairs and razor burn to deal with.

A good compromise is to shave your pubes short, but not down to the skin. You can do this (carefully) with any ordinary set of hair clippers.

Putting on a cock cage

Different models go together in different ways, but for the most part you’ll apply you cock cage roughly as follows:

  1. Make sure your cock is clean, dry, and completely flaccid. If you’re too excited to be completely soft, you can ward off a stiffy by taking a cold shower, applying an ice pack to your crotch (for no more than a minute or two), or having a pressure-relieving wank a little while beforehand.
  2. Put on the ring. If you have a one-piece ring, slip your cock through first, and then follow up with your balls one at a time, so that when you’re done the ring sits flush against your body. If your ring comes in two parts, you can close it around your cock and balls instead. Be careful not to pinch anything. For this step, you may want to use a little lube. Apply enough to make it easy and painless to slip your balls through the ring. If you can’t do this without experiencing discomfort even when using lube, move up to a larger ring size.
  3. Next, feed your cock into the sheath. Again, you may wish to use a little lube to make this easier and smoother. Alternatively, if you’d prefer to keep things dry in there, you can use a stocking, or other tube of slippery material. Line the sheath with it, slip your cock in, and then pull the material out through the tip of the cage, leaving your cock comfortably in place.
  4. Finally, marry the sheath to the ring using the locking pins. This can be a bit of a fiddle – especially if you’re not sure what locking pin size is right for you. You may find it easier to put the locking pins in place at the same time as you put on the ring. If the fit is uncomfortable in any way, you may be too excited, or may need to experiment with differently sized locking pins, a bigger sheath, or a differently-sized ring.
  5. When satisfied with the fit, use a padlock to lock the sheath in place. Done!

What kind of padlock?

Some cock cages have a lock embedded as part of the design. Others ship with a padlock that’s the perfect size for the cage. However, you may want to replace it with one of your own.

When selecting a padlock for a cock cage, go small. The bore of most locking pins is tiny, so a lock with a big shackle won’t work… and even if it does, will rattle around uncomfortably whenever the wearer moves.

The tiny padlocks usually used for luggage are, generally-speaking, the kind of thing you’re looking for. They’re flimsy, but they’ll do the job just fine… and are tiny enough that you can cut them open if you do lose the key.

Working up

To begin with, you should only wear your cock cage for a short period of time. As you get used to it, you can go for longer periods in chastity, but trying to go for several days your first time in a cage is a recipe for a painful experience.

Urinating

When you gotta pee, you gotta pee. To begin with you may wish to remove the cage (or ask nicely for it to be removed) in order to urinate. For some couples, this works just fine – asking for permission to piss is a delicious humiliation all its own.

However, it is possible to pee with a cage on. A little bit of spray is likely, though, so you should do so sitting down (be careful not to clang your cage against the toilet bowl as you do so).

Once you’re done peeing, let your cock drip for longer than you normally would before standing up. Do your best to make sure that your cock within its cage is clean and dry before you leave the bathroom. A tricky process, but I guess that’s your life now, huh?

Keep things clean

Speaking of hygiene… you’ll need to periodically remove your cock cage in order to get clean and tidy down there. Sweat, pre-come, and pee can all make a cage unsavoury pretty quickly. However long you’re in chastity for, your cage should be removed at least once a day so that both it and your cock can receive a gentle clean, and be allowed to dry completely before you’re locked back in.

Stainless steel cages are, by many accounts, the easiest to clean and the most hygienic. Unlike plastic and silicone cages, they won’t incubate moisture, and are very easy to get completely clean. Plastic cages are still totally legit, but they get gross faster.

Your cock is also, by the way, a sensitive part of your body. Every time you give yourself a clean you should also give your whole groin area a thorough check for soreness or chafing. If you find a sore patch, or if your dick looks irritated (red and tender), it’s time for a break. Wash, dry, and put on some more forgiving underwear until your junk is better.

A small amount of discomfort is to be expected, but if you get consistent chafing you might want to experiment with a differently-sized cage, or a different design.

Wearing your cage under clothes

If staying in chastity for an extended period of time, you might wish to wear your cock cage under clothes, so that you can go out of the house, attend dinner parties, make business trips, go to mass, etc.

Tight underwear will help keep your cage unobtrusive. Not only do tight pants reduce the profile of your cage, they also stop the lock from rattling against it as you move around.

Sleeping in chastity

Many kinky people aspire to sleep in chastity. It’s a hot idea, and has a real 24/7 vibe to it. However, sleeping in chastity isn’t necessarily as easy as it sounds.

During a normal sleep cycle, you may get and lose an erection several times a night. Not a problem, normally… but if you’re wearing a cock cage the pain of getting hard will likely wake you up at least once a night.

To get back to sleep, dispel your erection any way you can. Distract yourself. Take a little walk around the bedroom. Some people say peeing helps. Lose the stiffy, then go back to bed. Be prepared to do this quite a few times when you first start sleeping in chastity.

Planned releases

Your chastity doesn’t have to be absolute. For many people, never ever getting off again isn’t the goal. Instead, they’re keen to build anticipation and desire for some time before allowing themselves a hugely satisfying release.

As you increase the time you spend in chastity, work with your body and not against it. You’ll get to know how long you can take locked up before it stops being fun and is purely frustrating. For longer periods of chastity you might allow yourself an orgasm every few days, just to keep things under control.

Handing over a key

Lots of people experiment with chastity on their own – it’s something that’s personal to them, and which is only ever used to enhance their masturbation. Equally, lots of people enjoy playing with a partner.

The person you give the key to your chastity device to is your keyholder. And there’s no set format for what their relationship to you is. Your keyholder might be:

  • A professional dom/domme you’ve hired at a reasonable rate to help you enact this fantasy
  • A close friend who enjoys being part of your kink, but would never fuck you
  • A lover with whom you’re exploring chastity
  • A BDSM play partner with whom you’ve negotiated enacting this kink

How your keyholder relates to you governs what they’ll do for you. Maybe they live with you, and can manage the wearing of your chastity device all day every day. Maybe you only see each other occasionally, and keep you locked up in between times.

And, when you see each other, you and your keyholder might prefer to release you for an evening of glorious, unrestrained fucking. Or you might remain in chastity while they tease you. They might have you beg for release, and take pleasure in granting or denying you the satisfaction.

To reiterate: there’s no set way for you and your keyholder to behave with one another. It’s up to you to find something that works and is satisfying for the both of you.

Staying safe

Being caged is a fun kink that lends itself well to long-term play. You might see your keyholder only once every few days, and remain locked up in between. It’s a nice fantasy that they should have the only key, and that you should wear your cage wherever you go when you’re not with them… but it’s also not entirely practical.

There are many situations in which, practically, you need to be able to remove your own cage at short notice. Situations in which you might need to, include:

  • You unexpectedly need to see emergency medical care
  • You’re experiencing more chafing than usual
  • Your family’s dropping by and you don’t want to feel weird
  • You’ve spilled maple syrup on your cage and need to clean it

So… how can you enjoy the experience of being kept in strict chastity while also having access to an emergency key? Here are a few suggestions:

Ideas for safe male chastity - a simple guide to male chastity, by Lascivity

Use a security seal rather than a padlock. You’ve seen security seals before – they’re the little plastic tags you find on fire extinguishers to show when they’ve been used or tampered with. The basic principle is that, once fastened, they can be opened once and only once, since opening them destroys them.

Ideas for safe male chastity - a simple guide to male chastity, by Lascivity

Put your emergency key in a sealed envelope. For added security your keyholder can seal it using a wax seal or similar breakable seal that will show if you’ve opened the envelope.

Ideas for safe male chastity - a simple guide to male chastity, by Lascivity

Institute random check-ins. Depending on your lifestyle and other commitments, random check-ins might be a viable choice. Whenever you’re supposed to be wearing your cage, your keyholder can contact you and demand proof that you are – proof which must be supplied promptly, and with some unique identifier. For example, your keyholder might tell you to:

“Take a picture of you holding your caged cock between your fingers like a cigarette and send it to me within the next two minutes.”

Ideas for safe male chastity - a simple guide to male chastity, by Lascivity

Place your emergency key somewhere undesirable – the classic example being inside a tin of paint. If you need to get at it in an emergency, the sacrifice will be worthwhile… but it’s likely to put you off if you’re just desperate for a wank.

Every different type of cock cage


There are endless permutations when it comes to cock cages. Here are some of the most common ones.

Stainless steel cages

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This type of cage is by far our favourite. It’s clean and hygienic, it looks good, and it’s strict too. Steel is so cool and clean and practical that it’s the material of choice for most of the best cock cage manufacturers out there.

Here are some of my recommended stainless steel cock cages:

Master Series Extreme Confinement Chastity CageAn extremely small cage. Best choice for severe confinement or small dick humiliation.
Torment Stainless Steel Black Chrome Plated Cock CageMedium-sized stainless steel cage. Comes with a hinged base ring, making it easier to put on (particularly if you have big balls). Best choice for comfort and ease of use.
Torment Stainless Steel Birdcage Chastity CageLarge stainless steel cage. The generous size and birdcage design make this very easy to slip into – ideal for beginners. Best for big cocks and first-time cock cage users.

Plastic cages

A Guide to Male Chastity - Advice on buying cock cages and using male chastity toys by Lascivity

Plastic cock cages are also fun. You can get them in a range of colours, or see-through if you enjoy the squashed-cock aesthetic.

Here are some recommended plastic cock cages:

Master Series Clear Captor Chastity CageA clear plastic cage with a built-in lock. Comes with several different base rings for a comfortable fit. Strict enough to prevent any stimulation, but smooth enough to easily slip into.
Man Cage Model Three Clear Lightweight Chastity CageA generously-sized clear plastic cage. Comes with a standard padlock and several disposable locks. Several different base rings are provided for a comfortable fit.
Oxballs Atomic Jock Cock-Lock Chastity CageA flexible clear cage that doesn’t require any locks or keys. Simple to use, and effectively prevents stimulation… but has no means of “locking” to prevent removal by the wearer.

Silicone cages

A Guide to Male Chastity - Advice on buying cock cages and using male chastity toys by Lascivity

Silicone cock cages come in a couple of flavours. Some silicone cock cages are basically indistinguishable from plastic ones – the only real difference is that they’re a little bit more flexible, grippy and skintight.

You can also find a whole bunch of things which, although called “cock cages”, don’t do much caging. These toys fit over your biological cock to give it added texture, or to create constriction and give you a firmer or longer-lasting erection (a bit like a cock ring).

Here are some of our favourite silicone chastity cages:

Oxballs Meat Locker Silicone Chastity DeviceA stretchy silicone chastity device. No locking mechanism, or any means by which to prevent removal by the wearer. Less fiddly than lock-and-key cages, and fits well under clothes.
Bondara Dicktator Silicone Adjustable Chastity CageA standard chastity cage, but made from silicone for increased pliability and comfort. Adjustable, with several different base rings. Comes with a padlock and several disposable plastic locks.
Anal Fantasy Elite Silicone Ass-Gasm Cock Blocker Cock Ring, Plug & Chastity CageA soft silicone cock sheath the prevents stimulation. Can be locked in place to a metal base ring. Comes with an attached butt plug for extra fun.

Smart cages

A Guide to Male Chastity - Advice on buying cock cages and using male chastity toys by Lascivity

Smart, app-controlled cock cages are out there, but they are definitely still in the experimental tech phase of their development. Novel and fun.

Don’t be put off by that one story about a man who had his cock cage hacked. It’s fake news – a (pretty well-executed) prank pulled off by this YouTuber.

Cell Mate App-Controlled Smart Cock CageBasically the only app-controlled cock cage on the market. A bit of an awkward fit, but secure once in place. Expensive. Available in a few different sizes.

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3 Comments

  1. There are many levels of male chastity and not all are with consent, some are forced lifestyles or punishment along with humiliation. There are sissies that practice male chastity as part of their training and there are many more types of cages including the most popular trend in chastity, the micro cage.

  2. mister_andy mister_andy

    Generally a cood article however I always put my balls through the ring first and then my cock (by pushing it back into my body to get past the ring) to go cock first you need a larger ring that inevitably slips off later

  3. some of the very best cock cages are the extreme micro cages. I wear a male chastity cage called the Munchkin Inverted and have a few other extreme micro cages in my collection, one is called the Castrate male chastity cage and the other is the Eunuch chastity cage. These cages are perfect for men like me with small penises or for men with normal sized ones but want them to appear much smaller.

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