“Good pain” and “bad pain” are terms that BDSM folk use to describe different kinds of pain. Good pain is generally desirable, and bad pain is generally undesirable. It’s the difference between a firm spanking (good pain) and a stubbed toe (bad pain).
Almost everyone will have a different idea of what is good pain and what is bad pain. And that’s cool. We’re all very special snowflakes. There’s no definitive list of things that are good pain and things that are bad pain – instead the terms are used to describe a unique, individual experience.
Some pain can be a little bit of both – something might feel like good pain in the moment, but result in some bad pain the next day. Being slapped in the face, for example, might give you an amazing rush and a satisfying skin-level stinging sensation (good pain)… but then leave you with a maddening ache in your jaw the next day (bad pain).
Here are some examples of things that people usually (not always) categorise as good pain and bad pain:
| Good Pain | Bad Pain |
|---|---|
| Being spanked | Being kicked in the shin |
| Being scratched | Toothache |
| Having your hair pulled | A migraine |
| Being slapped in the face | Being punched in the face |
| Being caned | Stepping on a piece of Lego |
Of course, you’re still a cool human being if you don’t like any kind of pain. Not everyone has masochist tendencies. Not everyone likes being hurt. You’re still kinky even if you’re not interested in pain, and prefer other sensations.
Also of note: sometimes the difference between something being good pain and something being bad pain is just down to severity or context. You might enjoy a spanking when it’s delivered gently and lovingly, and find it unbearable when it’s more strict. Just because an act sometimes = good pain, doesn’t mean it always = good pain.
When it comes to pain, you’re allowed to be picky.
I should mention that I have a desire to submit to my dominant lady friend. I think that is normal and healthy. Even when my ass bleeds from a caning she carefully cleans it with antiseptic and I don’t think there is any danger. But some pain sluts, (she says I am one though i don’t see it that way) also crave things that are not good for them. I know that razors cutting into me are not a healthy desire. I think the kindness she shows me in spanking and giving me the bliss of welts and near numbness followed by intensely thrilling intimacy keeps me from doing bad things to myself. But don’t blur the line between healthy pain and self harm.