In kinky contexts, chastity is a type of play where one partner is denied sexual release, and both partners find it exciting. Often it involves the use of devices like cock cages, chastity belts or sheathes to prevent the one in chastity from getting off… while also adding to the fun by making them constantly aware of their locked-away genitals.
Chastity play when you and your partner are in the same room is great… but it’s also a type of play that can be easily adapted for partners in a long-distance relationship. There are plenty of ways, ranging for low- to high-tech, to enjoy chastity at a distance. Here are some of them.
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Why do people enjoy long-distance chastity?
Why do people enjoy long-distance chastity?
Long-distance chastity play is fun for all the same reasons that in-person chastity play is fun:
- It’s an enjoyable way to play with power and control ✔️
- It can be pleasantly humiliating ✔️
- Chastity focuses the mind ✔️
- Restricting orgasm can lead to better orgasms when you do get them ✔️
- A cock cage or chastity device makes you constantly aware of your dick ✔️
But in addition to these there are some things about long-distance chastity that people often find specifically appealing.
Many people note that it’s a way to feel closer to their partner even when their partner is away. Surrendering control to someone (even if they’re on the other side of the world at the time) is a powerful and intimate act. Long-distance chastity is a way that long-distance couples can explore kink, keep their relationship interesting, and engage in play even when apart.
Additionally, some people enjoy the dynamic of “saving themselves” for their partner. You might, for example, enjoy a few days of chastity before seeing your partner for the first time in weeks. Doing so is almost guaranteed to make things hotter and more intense when you finally get to play with them.
Playing with chastity can also just be a fun experience – a way of sharing something interesting and kinky and intimate even when miles apart.
Low-tech long-distance chastity
There are plenty of simple ways of doing long-distance chastity that don’t involve any expensive or complex equipment. Here are a few of them…
Disposable tags + good documentation
One of the cheapest, easiest and most reliable long-distance chastity solution is to use disposable tags. These are numbered plastic or metal tags that can be locked shut like a padlock. Unlike a padlock, however, once a disposable tag has been sealed, there’s no way to open it again that doesn’t also destroy it. They often look like this:
Disposable Plastic Chastity Locks like these are available from Lock the Cock.
You might have seen something similar on fire extinguishers. They’re not designed to prevent access, but instead to make it obvious when someone had had access.
In long-distance chastity, they’re simple to use:
- The keyholder instructs the individual in chastity to lock themselves away and seal the cage with a numbered tag, then send a photo once it’s done. They can specify a pose or an object to include in the picture to ensure that it’s a current one.
- Before granting permission to remove the cage, the keyholder requests another photograph (again, specifying an object to include or pose to adopt to ensure that the lockee cannot take the picture in advance).
- If the individual in chastity removes the tag before getting permission, they’ll have no way to hide this fact, and will thus be in for a suitable punishment.
Ordinary combination locks
You can also use a simple combination padlock for long-distance chastity.
Here’s how an individual in chastity can set the combination on a padlock in such a way that their keyholder knows it, but they do not.
- Work out how to reset the combination on your padlock. You normally do this by opening the padlock, rotating the shackle 180° and setting the dials to a new combination. When you close the shackle again, the new combination becomes the combination required to unlock the padlock.
- The individual in chastity starts a video call with their keyholder. They don a blindfold or shut their eyes. Holding the lock up to the camera, they blindly reset it to a new combination by scrambling the dials.
- The keyholder takes note of this combination. The individual in chastity applies the lock to their cage (still without looking), closes it and scrambles the dials before opening their eyes or removing their blindfold.
- The keyholder now has the combination for the lock. The individual in chastity does not. Hurrah.
Some notes: it’s fairly trivial to guess the combination of a three-digit combination padlock. Use a four (or more) digit combination lock. Also, resetting the combination can be fiddly – the individual in chastity should practise a few times to make sure they can do it blindfolded.
High-tech long-distance chastity
Time-release locks + good documentation
A time-release padlock is exactly what it sounds like: a lock that can be set only to unlock after a certain amount of time has passed. A typical time-release padlock looks like this:
To use a time-release padlock at a distance the keyholder simply instructs the individual in chastity to lock themselves away and seal the cage for a certain amount of time. They may wish to verify that this had been done by requesting video or photographs.
Once a time-release lock has been locked there’s no getting out of it without destroying the lock. The individual in chastity remains nicely secure until the countdown has ticked away.
App-controlled cock cages
An app-controlled cock cage is, perhaps, the most luxurious way to do chastity at a distance, as it offers the keyholder direct control over the individual in chastity’s genitals. A typical app-controlled cock cage looks like this:
The Cell Mate App Controlled Chastity Cage (available here) is one of the most prominent devices on the market at the moment. The newest versions even come with the ability to inflict a little light punishment by vibrating the cage or applying a small electric current to the wearer’s cock. This is at the whim of the keyholder, who can control the cage via an app.
App-controlled cages are, in theory at least, an excellent choice for long-distance chastity players. They offer the keyholder direct control over their partner in a way that other solutions just don’t, and offer a huge range of options (timed lock-ins, timed punishment shocks, and the ability to track how long the individual in chastity has been locked away for, for example).
At the same time, app-controlled cock cages are still fairly new, and the technology is by no means perfect. They are tricky to set up, and there are lots of ways they can go wrong (losing connection, battery failures, etc). Plus there’s a possibility (albeit a very slim one) of hackers trying to exploit them. More about that here.
App-controlled key boxes
Don’t fancy locking some new and unfamiliar hardware to your junk? Fair enough. App-controlled key boxes allow you to enjoy the same level of control while still using conventional locking hardware.
When using an app-controlled lock box an ordinary lock is used, and the key sealed away in a pod that won’t open until the keyholder decides it’s time and unlocks it using an app.
The Key Pod App Controlled Key Case (available from Lock the Cock) is an excellent device for chastity play. As well as allowing a keyholder to remotely grant or revoke access to the key stashed within, it also keeps a log of when it’s opened, allowing the keyholder to keep an extra close track of what the individual in chastity is up to.
Safety: always have a backup
Technology is fallible. Even when using the best-quality products you can find, something is bound to break at some point. For this reason, it’s good to have a backup plan.
Consider what you’d do if a piece of equipment you were using malfunctioned, or if the individual in chastity had to remove their cage at short notice and couldn’t communicate with their keyholder.
You can find some ideas for how to store an emergency spare key in this guide to male chastity. But when it comes to high-tech devices, getting out in an emergency might come down to simply breaking the device – which (given the pricetag of a smart cock cage) is going to be a painful experience in more ways than one.
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