Lubricant. It’s not just for cars and gear wheels and industrial machine parts. Lube belongs in the bedroom too, where it makes sex infinitely more enjoyable for everyone involved.
Picking the right lube for you, however, isn’t always easy. Not all lubes are the same, and the wrong lube could be irritating to you and damaging to your sex toy collection – it could even make condoms less effective.
That’s a situation you’ll probably want to avoid. So here’s everything you need to know about finding the perfect lube for you.
Contents
Do I need lube?
A lot of people feel like they shouldn’t need lube. After all, bodies produce their own natural lubricants in the form of vaginal wetness and penile pre-come. Surely it’s only people who can’t produce enough of their own lube who need to add extra from a bottle?
This isn’t the case.
However wet you get, you probably should be using lube. Doing so every time you have sex will:
- Make sex more enjoyable
- Reduce the risk of tiny abrasions and tears on your genitals
- Make condoms much safer and more reliable
- Improve sensation when using condoms
- Lengthen the life of your sex toys
- Allow you to fuck more often and for longer
- Facilitate safe and enjoyable anal sex
You may be able to have perfectly comfortable and enjoyable sex without lube… but it’s still a good idea to use it most of the time. And if you do need to use it to have comfortable sex, rest assured that this is totally normal. People who get wet enough for comfortable penetrative sex without lube are a tiny minority.
Picking the right lube
I’ll go into more detail about lube below, but for quick reference purposes, this is the lube I recommend:
Liquid Silk is water-based, condom-compatible, pretty slippy, and comes in a pump bottle (for one-handed operation). This lube will, with a few exceptions, be a great choice for 90% of people and 90% of sexual activities. If you don’t want to faff around any further, just get this lube.
If you do want to faff around further, here are the things you need to consider when purchasing lube.
Body compatibility
Some lubes contain ingredients that might be irritating to your skin, or which might cause an allergic reaction. At a minimum you should look for lubes that advertise themselves as body safe and paraben-free. If you’re a sensitive soul (like me), also look for lube that is hypoallergenic.
Toy compatibility
Some lubes will react badly with some toys. The simplest way to avoid this is by sticking with water-based lubes when using toys. There are some silicone- and oil-based lubes that work just fine with some toys, but this is something you’d have to find out on a case-by-case basis. For simplicity, water-based lube is the way to go with toys.
Staying power
Some lubes stick around longer than others. Water-based lubes wash away quickly and easily, whereas silicone lubes are a wee bit more resistant. Oil-based lubes are so water-resistant that it can actually be a problem.
Whether you want your lube to stick around is up to you. For most purposes you’ll want a lube that washes away easily when you’re done. But there are plenty of reasons why you might want a longer-lasting lube:
- You want to fuck for a really long time
- You’re doing anal (continued slipperiness throughout is very important)
- You’re fucking in the shower (where water-based lube might wash away)
- You don’t like the tacky sensation you get when water-based lube dries out
Different types of lube
Water-based lubricant
Body Compatibility: Universal
Toy Compatibility: Universal
Staying Power: Low
Recommended Water-Based Lube: Liquid Silk
The main ingredient in water-based lubes is – you guessed it – water. These lubes are generally good even for sensitive skin, and are compatible with almost any toy. They’re usually not oily or greasy, and they wash away very easily. Unfortunately they’re also quick to dry out, so aren’t so good for really long, languid, extravagant fucks.
Silicone-based lubricant
Body Compatibility: Medium
Toy Compatibility: Low
Staying Power: Good
Recommended Silicone-Based Lube: Gun Oil Silicone Personal Lubricant
Silicone-based lubes have silicone as a primary ingredient. This means that they stick around longer than their water-based counterparts… and some people say they have a slippier feel to them, too. Of course, their added staying power makes them more difficult to wash away… and you should consider that some silicone lubes will react badly with some silicone toys. To play it safe, don’t use silicone lube with toys.
Oil-based lubricant
Body Compatibility: Low
Toy Compatibility: Low
Staying Power: Extensive
Recommended Oil-Based Lube: YES Oil-Based Organic Lubricant
Oil-based lubes aren’t generally recommended, since they are very difficult to wash off your body, will stain your sheets, and can also be damaging to sex toys. On the flipside there are some decent all-natural oil-based lubes out there that some people might find suit them better than silicone- or water-based alternatives.
Hybrid lubricant
Body Compatibility: Varies
Toy Compatibility: Varies
Staying Power: Varies
Recommended Hybrid Lube: Sliquid Natural Silk Hybrid Personal Lubricant
Hybrid lubes contain a mix of ingredients, and generally offer properties that are somewhere in between the lubes described above. With the right hybrid lube you might be able to achieve the slipperiness of silicone with the easy clean-up of water. Each hybrid lube is different, though, so you’ll have to experiment to find one that works for you.
Using lube
Using lube is real simple: you put it where you want things to be more slippery. Nevertheless, here are some tips for getting the most out of your lube in a range of contexts…
From a bottle
A lot of popular lubes come in a squeezy bottle. This seems fine in theory – if it’s good enough for ketchup it’s good enough for your sex life, right? In practise, however, squeezy bottles become difficult to handle once you’ve got lube all over your hands.
I’d recommend this type of lube bottle instead:
A “soap dispenser” pump like this allows you to dispense a controlled amount of lube one-handed, even when your hands are wet or slippery or dripping with your lover’s come.
With condoms
Condoms are designed to be used with lube. Even pre-lubricated ones generally aren’t slippery enough without it, so don’t be shy. To improve sensation when wearing condoms, you can also put a drop of lube inside the tip.
Foil condom packets are more or less impossible to open with slippery fingers, by the way. If you already have lube all over the place, dry your hands before handling a condom packet.
With toys
It’s important to make sure your lube is compatible with any toys you plan to use. Silicone lubes are sometimes incompatible with silicone toys, and oil-based lubes are generally bad for most sex toys. If in doubt, don’t risk it – use only water-based lube with your toys.
Generally there are bits of a toy you want to be slippery (the shaft of a dildo) and bits that you don’t want to be slippery (the grip of a dildo). Be careful when applying lube. If you get the grip of a toy all lubey it’ll be exponentially more difficult to use. Consider having a towel handy to clean up any stray drips of lube.
With a human
Lube comes out of the bottle somewhat cold. When applying it to a fellow human you may wish to warm it by rubbing it between your fingers for a few seconds first.
Lube is great for human genitals. In most cases it’s less good in your mouth. If you’re planning on mixing oral sex with penetrative sex, make sure your lube is edible.
With lube accessories
There are a small number of toys specifically designed to allow you to splash lube around in fun and novel ways. You might wish to try a lube syringe, which allows you to squirt a dose of lube deep into your partner’s body… or an ejaculating dildo, which squirts a small quantity of lube on demand to mimic the feeling of ejaculation.
Specialist lubes
As well as a big bottle of general, all-purpose lube, you might wish to dabble with some of these slippery characters from the sexual lubricant extended universe. There are lubes with added novelty, or with are specifically formulated for special use cases.
Flavoured
You can buy lubes in a range of flavours, including strawberry, passion fruit, birthday cake, green apple, and even watermelon (minus the seeds). The point of flavoured lubes is to make oral sex more enjoyable. Believe it or not, some people like giving oral but don’t like the taste of another human’s genitals. Flavoured lube helps with this.
In most cases, flavoured lube is specifically designed for oral, and so should not be used for vaginal or anal sex. There’s usually a little bit of sugar in there, which can cause yeast infections and other gribblies when interfaced with your internal genitals.
Cooling
Cooling lubes often have menthol or another minty substance added. This results in a slight cooling sensation when applied to the skin – something that you might find pleasant or unpleasant depending on your sensibilities. If you like it, the cooling sensation can often be enhanced by having your lover blow onto your freshly-lubed skin.
Tingling
Tingling lube sounds like it would be real cool. Which is appropriate, because in most cases it’s just another name for cooling lube. The cooling sensation supplied by these lubes can feel kind of tingly if you use your imagination.
Warming
Just as cooling lubricants produce a cooling sensation, warming lubricants produce a warming one. How they do this varies from lube to lube. Some contain the same ingredient that gives hot chilli peppers their heat, while others work like medical warming creams, dilating the blood vessels under your skin to produce a sensation of warmth.
A small number of warming lubes also make use of menthol. Yep – the same ingredient as cooling lubes. Just like “tingling” lubes, they rely on the power of suggestion to trick you into experiencing the sensation as warmth rather than cold, the wily bastards.
You may find warming lubes unpleasant to use. If you don’t like the sensation you get from medicated warming ointments, you certainly won’t like warming lube on your genitals. Be cautious when experimenting with warming lube – apply only a small amount at first and wait a few minutes to see if you actually like it before slathering on any more.
Anal
Anal lubricant is usually made from silicone, for added staying power. There are some water-based anal lubes, though. The main difference between regular lube and anal lube is that anal lube is thicker, and will stay in place a lot longer.
The inherent friction and tightness of anal sex strips away and dries out ordinary water-based lubes. Using a specially-formulated anal lube saves you from having to reapply lube throughout the act… and saves you from having to worry about things getting too dry down there.
Glitter
Glitter lube exists. It shouldn’t. This stuff is almost always sold as a novelty, because it cannot be sold as a real lubricant, because it’s full of nasty shit that will fuck up your genitals. Avoid.
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